Edmunds CarPool

10. Timing: I already talked about this one -- the top auto show press days generally happen within a week or two of major holidays. This means while the rest of the world is chilling out on turkey tryptophan, spending gift cards or pondering the miracles of the spring season most automotive veterans are hoofing through airports, staying in over-priced hotel rooms and setting pre-dawn wake-up calls.

9. Crowds: Once upon a time the only people attending auto show press days were -- the automotive press! Now either the number of folks claiming to be automotive press has gotten much larger or there are a bunch of people attending these shows that aren't really members of the press (I'm certain it's both). Bottom line, if you really want to get close to the cars you're better off, ironically, going on the public days.

8. Speeches: Because automakers know they've got the attention of the automotive press (and then some, see number 9) they feel obligated to make the most of their press conferences. This means we're treated to far more than just product information. Or sales numbers. Or financial briefs. Or market share predictions. Or executive shuffling. Oh no, that's just the beginning...

7. Schedule: If you look at an auto show press schedule you'll notice a 10-minute window between the scheduled end of one conference and the start of the next. But the aforementioned speeches mean these conferences invariably go long, and the aforementioned crowds mean getting to a conference late (or even on time) means you're stuck behind 25 rows of standing people...with carmeras raised to get a photograph.

6. Skits: These have somewhat diminished in recent years, but contrived theatrics still make a regular appearance on the auto show floor. Highlights from years past include a bunch of young people dancing around the Pontiac Aztek to prove it was "cool," Dieter Zetsche playing a bakery delivery boy to a suburban couple and a calvacade of highly-paid celebrites failing to appear highly interested in the product. The Horror...The Horror...

5. Ebargoes: Embargoes are designed to give journalists early access to priviledged information so stories can be prepared ahead of time. These stories are then supposed to be released by all media outlets at a pre-determined time. They never work. Someone always breaks them and everyone else has to decide when the embargo is broken "enough" to push their own stories live. This happens all year long, but is rampant during auto shows.

4. Events: Car companies often hold auto show-related events, like dinners or private, off-site car viewings, around press days. Nothing wrong with that, except this "event creep" (my own term) has gotten to the point where auto show-related events are now happening days or weeks ahead of each show. For instance, one company is having an event on the Sunday morning of this Thanksgiving Weekend. Thus my trytophan-coma-interruptus comment above.

3. Shrinkage: There's no denying the economic impact of the past two years, and a casual stroll through today's auto shows makes for a harsh reminder. Every brand has been forced to dial back the grandeur of its show display (or even bail out completely). Less grandeur is fine by me, as that's money better spent on actually improving the product. But what it represents for long time attendees is depressing.

2. Hangers-On: For every legitimate car maker revealing legitimate cars during an auto show there's an increasing number of questionable companies trying to pawn glorified golf carts, snake-oil additives and "industry-changing" technologies. This was going on before the recent gas-price spike. Now the huckster faction is approaching Biblical proportions, eargerly sucking up all the show floor space left over from the shrinkage of genuine players.

1. BORING!: Auto show "dream cars" peaked in the 1950s and have been on a slow decline ever since. Still, as recently as five years ago you'd still see at least a few genuine dream cars (meaning flamboyant styling and/or other-wordly performance numbers) at each show. Not any more. Today you're not allowed in the dream car club without a battery pack, regenerative braking and recyclable body panels. (sigh)

BTW, despite all my griping above auto shows really are quite cool. Classify this list in the same mental file you would use for a "Bottom 10 Things About Being Really Wealthy" list.