"Gas prices are skyrocketing! There's no end in sight!! Who knows how high they'll go?!!!"

The above statements may or may not be true, but Chrysler is hoping enough of you feel this way to fall for their latest marketing scheme: Let's Refuel America!

The Edmunds data department confirmed last week that, for the most part, this "deal" isn't all it's cracked up to be (surprise!). But here's a story that pulls all the important numbers together and, in simple terms, says to avoid the "Let's Refuel America!" boondoggle and just take the good, old reliable incentive cash. You'll come out much better.

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Auburn Hills has been liberated, and Chrysler is once again a domestic car company. Not only is it a domestic car company, but a privately held one that should, in theory, be more nimble than its crosstown, Motor City rivals. While the German Occupation brought with it the hope of increased engineering prowess (a hope that was realized in some measure with the LX cars), the company lost much of its sense of design and innovation -- along with about $30 billion in value. I'd like to believe private equity plus Chrysler brand equity (Challenger, Charger, Jeep, 300, Ram, etc.) provides plenty of potential, there's lots of work to be done. Obviously cost cuts and downsizing will be a primary objective of the new owners, but recent rumors suggest everything is up for discussion -- including no more Dodge cars. Chrysler would produce all the cars, Dodge would sell only trucks, and Jeep would do...well, Jeeps.

That's one of the many rumors swirling around about Chrysler LLC's future, but if I were in charge this is what I'd do:

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Sometimes I forget that Chrysler is the "premium" division of Chrysler LLC. Then I drive a modern Chrysler product and I know why I forget. The last Sebring I drove didn't exactly inspire thoughts of luxury. Fisher Price? Yes. Dolce & Gabbana? No.

So now I get my first seat time in a new 2008 Chrysler Town & Country. Like the new Grand Caravan I drove a few months ago, the Chrysler Town & Country has loads of kid-friendly gadgets, and the overall design seems quite sound in terms of accommodating family travel. But that interior quality...

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Timing is everything, and in this case the timing of the latest Ward's "Interior of the Year" announcement strikes two ironic chords with me. First because it's a day after I picked on J.D. Power's latest award announcement, and second because it comes right after driving the new 2008 Chrysler Sebring convertible. See, the Sebring, along with the Dodge Caliber, were mentioned as wining categories in the "Interior of the Year" competition, which strikes me as, well...complete and utter nonsense. I bashed the Caliber's interior quality after first sitting in one last year, and if you were to ask me what new model has the worst interior of the year, the Caliber would likely be the first vehicle to pop into my mind. And now, after driving the Sebring convertible last night, this model would be right on the Caliber's heels. So, if I was questioning J.D. Power's Initial Quality Survey yesterday I guess I have to flat out denounce these "Ward's Awards."

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   I've often thought the LX cars (Chrysler 300, Dodge Charger and Magnum) were exceptional deals simply because they feel more robust than their stickers would indicate. This comes largely from the connection between these models and Mercedes' own E-Class, from which various items are shared. Yes, they aren't actually platform mates and yes, what is shared comes from the previous-generation E-Class. But let's face it, even a 10-year-old M-B platform is going to have better ride/handling qualites than the bulk of brand new $20,000-$30,000 family sedans on the market. Put simply, while the cars cost about half what an E-Class costs (a 2007 E350 starts at $50K), I feel you're getting far more than 50 percent of the car when you pay $28,000 for a 300 Touring. 

You may have heard this already, but Chrysler recently sacked its Sales and Marketing Vice President, Joe Eberhardt. The level of unsold Chrysler inventory sitting on dealer lots is threatening to alter tectonic plate activity under the North American continent, and some -- okay, I -- have suggested Chrysler simply "give 2007 a miss" in terms of model production. They could literally just let the 2006 leftovers cover sales for a few more weeks, and then start producing 2008s in January. They are already taking this approach with a few models, including the Viper.

Not so long ago Chyrsler was looking like the fair-haired child (Hemi mania, Chrysler 300 sales records, etc.), but it seems the world has turned once again. Now GM has a slew of new (and impressive) vehicles hitting the market while Chrysler dumps the Caliber, Compass and Sebring on us.

Never a dull moment when it comes to our Domestic Automakers.

   If putting "Daytona" on a Charger with 10 extra horsepower and a stripe kit was a waste of a great vehicle name, putting "Aspen" on a re-badged Dodge Durango is an unwanted revival of a highly questionable name. The word "Aspen" in and of itself isn't bad (beats the hell of Vitara or Aveo or Ascender), and you could even give Chrysler credit on being well ahead of the pack on using "rugged, off-road nature/place" names to sell vehicles. Aspen pre-dates Explorer, Expedition, Denali, Murano, Outlander, Ranier, Tahoe, Murano and all the others by a couple decades. But when Chrysler first used "Aspen," they attached the name to a rather crap-tastic compact sedan/wagaon/coupe during the Dark Ages of the American automobile. What's next, a new Chevrolet Vega or Ford Pinto? Maybe we'll even see the return of the Zeph- oh, wait...

Anyway, if you can get past the name's legacy you'll find the Chrysler Aspen to be a well mannered large SUV with, overall, an attractive interior. The wood trim looks good, and the seats are comfortable. Ride, handling and acceleration traits are effective at concealing the beast's 5,000 pound curb weight, and the quiet cabin at highway speeds does indeed give the SUV a sense of luxury. I was disappointed by the buttons for the center console release, as the plastic flashing literally grates on your finger tips as you slide over them. This is obviously a touch point, and if a carmaker wants to cut corners on interior materials they should at least do it where you're unlikely to notice. Our test car didn't have a low-range transfer case, but one is available for the Aspen (unlike the Dodge Nitro I recently drove).

If it comes down to this or a Tahoe I'm probably going to lean toward the Chevrolet. The drivetrain and handling in the Chevy are just as good, and the interior quality is slightly better. Plus, I wouldn't mind discussing my Tahoe with others, but I really don't want folks asking me, "So, how's your Aspen.?"

   Drove the new Chrysler Sebring last weekend, and for the first time the curse of the rental car became crystal clear to me. Not because the Sebring comes off as an obvious rental car, but because it made me realize that -- in today's ultra-competitive market -- supplying fleets and rental car companies can be hazardous to your company's long-term bottom line. Some people try to defend the value of fleet sales, even if they negatively impact resale value and brand image. I mean, these companies need to buy cars from somebody, so why fight it? Take the guaranteed business and be happy about it, right? But driving the all-new Sebring raised another point that hadn't previously occurred to me -- one that now seems painfully obvious. A point that goes way beyond depreciation and image control.

   I drove the 2007 Chrysler Pacifica home last night. This year it gets a new 4.0-liter V6 that makes 253 horsepower and 262 lb-ft of torque. We had one of these in our long-term fleet back in 2004, and the obvious weak spot was the over-burdened, under-refined 3.5-liter engine. But that engine still made 250 horsepower and 250 pound-feet of torque, so this 4.0-liter doesn't look that much stronger, at least on paper. But as usual, the spec sheet doesn't tell the whole story. While the new engine doesn't imbue the Pacifica with delusions of drag racing trophies, it does feel considerably more powerful and torquey, especially at low speeds. BUT (you knew this was coming), it still doesn't feel particularly refined at high rpms, and our test vehicle had a rough idle that made my Challenger R/T feel like a premium vehicle. I tried turning off the air conditioning, and then I shut down the climate control system entirely, but the shaky idle remained. Probably a one-off problem on just our test car...

What isn't unique to our test vehicle is the level of body movement over pavement undulations. It's not terrible, but a car at this price range should be able to combine comfortable ride quality with confident handling. I found myself working too hard to keep the Pacifica between the lanes while driving up (admitedly somewhat bumpy) PCH. Don't remember this issue in the last Honda Pilot I drove. The final issue I take is with the various interior plastics. Door panels, for instance, are soft touch just around the armrest, but the rest of the panel is rock hard plastic (though it looks okay because of the "leather-like" grain). This is an area you're very likely to be touching because of the location, and on a Chrysler-badged, $30,000-plus vehicle (you can easily cross $40,000 depending on trim and equipment) this is patently unacceptable. The 300/Magnum/Charger family shows far better execution. I'd stick with those models were I shopping new $30,000 Mopar people movers.