Thoughts from the Curb: Keep Your Clunkers
Cash for Clunkers has been a runaway success, with dealers and the government unable to keep up with demand. Thus far, the most turned in vehicles read like a Greatest Hits of the '90s: Explorer, Grand Cherokee, Blazer, Cherokee and every American full-size pickup. They've been traded in most frequently for cars like the Focus, Civic, Corolla, Cobalt, Caliber, Camry and Prius.
That Caliber really got me depressed, as did the LA Times article I read the other day that said one Chrysler dealer had run out of Calibers and Jeep Compasses and only had one PT Cruiser left. Any time somebody buys one of those, it's enough for me to light a votive candle and pop a Prozac. But it got me to thinking. What supposed "Clunkers" would I rather own than a Caliber, Corolla, Compass, PT Cruiser, Cobalt or even Focus.
I checked the Edmunds Cash for Clunkers eligibility list and as it turns out, coming up with my Keep Your Clunkers list wasn't that hard.
1) '95-'98 BMW 7 Series: A clunker, are you serious? The 1997 BMW 750iL was a Bond car for Pete sake. The PT Cruiser was not.
2) '91-'92 BMW 850i: A super '90s 12-cylinder BMW coupe or a Caliber? Hmm. That's like asking me Teri Hatcher or Adele? Sure, one's a whole lot younger, but ...
3) '97-'98 Audi A8: Yet another beautifully grandiose German luxury limo. Easy choice.
4) '94 Land Rover Defender 90: Should I get a Jeep Compass or an SUV that could drive over a Jeep Compass. The Queen owns one, that's good enough for me.
5) '93-'95 Toyota Supra: Yep, including the Turbo. Please don't crush this for a Camry.
6) '94-'97 Mercedes-Benz S-Class: Another huge German sedan. This one looks like a brick and was the choice of third-world dictators everywhere. Kim Jong-Il would not drive in a Focus.
7) '95-'98 Ford SVT Cobra: A 305-hp V8 may be a fuel hog, but it goes like a greased pig. The Prius looks like a greased pig.
8) '95-2000 Range Rover: Yes, I know, it'll be in the shop a wee bit more than that Corolla you just bought. But being in a service bay is better than being dead inside.
9) '90-'94 Chevy Corvette: I don't care what the government says, a Corvette is not a Clunker. A Cobalt is the Clunker.
10) Porsche 944/968: Porsche is in the name. You do not crush it. Period.
Of course, if any of these cars were in good condition with a fair number of miles, there's a good chance they'd be worth more than the $4,500 Cash for Clunkers pay-out. Perhaps a dealer would have mercy and spare it, choosing to re-sell a prize clunker rather than asking Uncle Sam for their check. I would only hope.
James Riswick, Automotive Editor
"Thoughts from the Curb" is my weekly editorial column that appears every Wednesday morning at 6 a.m. Eastern. It delves deeper into whatever automotive topic pops into my bizarre mind, but it doesn't necessarily reflect the general opinions of Edmunds.com. Cash for Clunkers. Cash for Clunkers. Cash for Clunkers. Paris Hilton.
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- James Riswick August 5, 2009, 3:00 AM
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The D90 is so rare and limited in the US that if anyone were stupid enough to bring one in, I'm sure the dealer would pay cash for it. It's worth a lot more than 4500, even in rough condition.
Supra? Fast n Furious crowd wouldn't let that happen.
The rest were in sufficient quantity and neglected enough over the years that I could see them going in as a clunker.
This was a riot. Once I was done rolling on the floor, I got up and agreed with you.
Wait, the S-Class sucks though...
HEY - looking for answers - my poor condition GMC Suburban 1500 4WD is not on the trade in list. 2WD is, 1997 is. I have been trying for 3 Days to get this on the list. Why is called class 3 on Edmunds list? IT only weighs 7300
Ah... Supra ... my teen-age wet dream
At lunch time today, I get back on the phone and continue negotiations on that '87 Porsche 924S. Only 116K and well taken care of. That'll be my new car for this half-decade.
And no, I'm not interested in a Prius, I don't care what Congress wants.
The 924 was also on the list, I just didn't feel like cramming three models into one line.
And what, you'd rather have a Porsche than a Prius? What, are you dumb or something?
Actually, the 924S and the earlier 944s (the ones with the 2.5-liter or 2.7-liter, not the 3.0-liter, inline four) are not considered clunkers as they get higher than 18 mpg for the EPA's combined estimate.
AMEN!
Closed the deal on the 924S. Drove it home last night. Realized that it's going to get clunker mileage, at least the way I run it through the curves.
The day I settle for a Prius, please bury me. I've obviously died somewhere in the near past.
"8) '95-2000 Range Rover: Yes, I know, it'll be in the shop a wee bit more than that Corolla you just bought. But being in a service bay is better than being dead inside."
This is why you buy a 95 Land Cruiser like mine. Range Rover durability, Corolla reliability.